Acorn Goes to Afghanistan...Part III

Karzai concedes he did not win Afghan election after UN finds that poll was rigged  Ω
Bright boy.

Afghan President Hamid Karzai has conceded today that he fell short of victory in the country's August presidential election. --"fell short of victory", newspeak for "we got caught cheating".

He admitted he did not receive the 50 per cent vote share he needed, and has agreed to to a run-off election with his challenger, Dr Abdullah Abdullah.

--"John (Loser) Kerry threatened to tomahawk me with his face if I didn't follow orders." -attributed to a karacul-wearing used car salesman of uncertain parentage and overactive sebaceous glands.

A UN-backed fraud investigation that threw out nearly a third of Karzai's ballots.--dangling chads...

The Afghan president claimed he won an outright victory in the first round of elections but observers have said as many as one in four votes cast were suspicious.--"When in doubt, claim victory."-attributed to tyrants everywhere.

Investigators did not release enough figures to allow for an independent judgment, but it was clear that hundreds of thousands of Karzai votes were voided. In all, more than 5 million votes were cast in the election.  Hundreds of thousands out of 5 million...the American ACORN offices are taking notes!

Karzai has spoken out against a second round and has criticised the fraud investigation, which he hinted could have involved foreign meddling.--foreign devils!

Poor Karzai, he must be weeping and rending his aborted lambskin robes right now.

In an embarrassingly parsimonious display..

US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said earlier that Karzai could opt for a run-off, or he could negotiate a power-sharing arrangement with Dr Abdullah, the country’s former Foreign Minister, who came second.

The US has previously made it clear it would prefer a power-sharing deal to avoid the expense and security risks of a second election.

Brilliant. Great idea. I can sooooooo see that working.

Obama, the Taliban, and Spin the Bottle

President Barack Obama's review of strategy in Afghanistan means America will end up making a deal with the Taliban, and tolerating warlords, to end the fighting. Ω 
For O-pocrisy, see here.

Mullah Mutawakkil, once a confidant of the one-eyed Taliban leader, Mullah Mohammed Omar, was held at a US base in Kandahar in 2002 after he gave himself up to American troops.

Now he is being politely wooed by a stream of senior US officials (hope they're being "safe"..*cough*) who make discreet visits to his villa, which is guarded by armed police, to hear his thoughts on what the Taliban mood is like and whether any of its leaders are ready for talks. They better remember to bring chocolate, flowers, mouthwash, and...prayer rugs.

He believes that the Taliban would split from what he called their al-Qaeda "war allies" if a deal was within reach. "If the Taliban fight on and finally became Afghanistan's government with the help of al-Qaeda, it would then be very difficult to separate them," he warned.--threatened

Taliban leaders are looking for guarantees of their personal safety from the US, and a removal of the "bounties" placed on the head of their top commanders. They also want a programme for the release of prisoners held at the notorious Bagram US air base in Afghanistan, and at Guantanamo Bay. Three demands..for now. "The infidel dogs are capitulating, charge!"

In return, he says, the Taliban would promise not to allow Afghanistan to be used to plan attacks on America – the original reason for American invervention, and the overriding aim of US policy in the region. Oh look, they promise.*basks in warm, fuzzy glow*

The former foreign minister believes the Taliban understands that Afghanistan has changed since they were driven from power. They want a nation governed by strict Islamic laws but realise they cannot turn the clock back, he said. They want it, but they won't try to get it. Because they promised. 

Excuse me, my unicorn just arrived.

Acorn Goes to Afghanistan...Part Deaux

Sacked US diplomat says Afghan fraud even worse  Ω 

A US diplomat sacked by the United Nations after alleging fraud in Afghanistan's election said Monday that the extent of cheating was even greater than reported by a UN-backed watchdog.

The United Nations dismissed Peter Galbraith last month as the deputy UN special envoy to Afghanistan after he charged that as many as 30 percent of votes cast August 20 for incumbent President Hamid Karzai were fraudulent.
But after initial UN denials, a UN-backed watchdog on Monday threw out votes from 210 polling stations, raising pressure on the country's Independent Election Commission (IEC) to call a run-off.
Translation: You're right, but how dare you! The impudence! You have 10 minutes to clean out your desk before the blue helmets escort you from the building. Next time maybe you'll keep your mouth shut and stick to the script."

Hamid Karzai refuses to accept being stripped of Afghanistan election win  Ω 
A two-month investigation into allegations of widespread ballot-stuffing by supporters took his share of the vote from 55 per cent to 48 per cent, officials said.

Mr Karzai was said to be furious with the findings, --I'm shocked! while the Karzai-appointed election committee which must certify the final results also signaled it would not accept them either. --Even more shocked!

Senator John (Loser) Kerry, a close ally of Barack Obama, made an unscheduled visit to the Afghan capital yesterday to persuade Mr Karzai to accept the results of the inquiry. --Wait, they didn't send Al Gore?!

Acorn Goes to Afghanistan

Metaphorically speaking.
As far as I know...

KABUL (AP) - Fraud investigators threw out hundreds of thousands of votes for President Hamid Karzai in the country's disputed August election, according to a report released Monday. The findings set the stage for a runoff between him and his top challenger.

It was unclear, however, whether the Independent Election Commission would accept the findings of the U.N.-backed fraud panel --isn't that a contradiction in terms? and announce a runoff. Karzai's spokesman said it was too soon to make a judgment based on the figures released by the panel. --Of course it is, that would be silly!

For those of you who don't follow Afghan politics, here's a bit of info on Dr. Abdullah.  Ω 

Already well known among most Afghans, Dr. Abdullah*, 48, an ophthalmologist, has a background that includes years of resistance to Soviet and Taliban rule as well as a crucial role in the formation of the new democratic government after the American intervention. *Campaign website

He strikes all the right notes about a de-centralized federal government and stronger representation of the people, but his unfortunate use of "Hope and Change" sure does send a shiver down my spine.

From his campaign website: "I'm asking you to believe not only in my ability to bring about necessary change and hope in our beloved country, Afghanistan, but I'm also asking you to believe in your own potential to change the course of our history." Yes We Can! Yes We Can! Yes We C---Oops, sorry. I blacked out there for a second.

Lessee, vote for the karacul-wearing used car salesman wallowing in cronyism and vote fraud...or the Afghan Obama sound-alike. *drums fingers*..... Good luck with that, guys! And gals..

Normally, I'd have more sympathy, but we have problems of our own to deal with.