Obama, the Taliban, and Spin the Bottle

President Barack Obama's review of strategy in Afghanistan means America will end up making a deal with the Taliban, and tolerating warlords, to end the fighting. Ω 
For O-pocrisy, see here.

Mullah Mutawakkil, once a confidant of the one-eyed Taliban leader, Mullah Mohammed Omar, was held at a US base in Kandahar in 2002 after he gave himself up to American troops.

Now he is being politely wooed by a stream of senior US officials (hope they're being "safe"..*cough*) who make discreet visits to his villa, which is guarded by armed police, to hear his thoughts on what the Taliban mood is like and whether any of its leaders are ready for talks. They better remember to bring chocolate, flowers, mouthwash, and...prayer rugs.

He believes that the Taliban would split from what he called their al-Qaeda "war allies" if a deal was within reach. "If the Taliban fight on and finally became Afghanistan's government with the help of al-Qaeda, it would then be very difficult to separate them," he warned.--threatened

Taliban leaders are looking for guarantees of their personal safety from the US, and a removal of the "bounties" placed on the head of their top commanders. They also want a programme for the release of prisoners held at the notorious Bagram US air base in Afghanistan, and at Guantanamo Bay. Three demands..for now. "The infidel dogs are capitulating, charge!"

In return, he says, the Taliban would promise not to allow Afghanistan to be used to plan attacks on America – the original reason for American invervention, and the overriding aim of US policy in the region. Oh look, they promise.*basks in warm, fuzzy glow*

The former foreign minister believes the Taliban understands that Afghanistan has changed since they were driven from power. They want a nation governed by strict Islamic laws but realise they cannot turn the clock back, he said. They want it, but they won't try to get it. Because they promised. 

Excuse me, my unicorn just arrived.

Acorn Goes to Afghanistan...Part Deaux

Sacked US diplomat says Afghan fraud even worse  Ω 

A US diplomat sacked by the United Nations after alleging fraud in Afghanistan's election said Monday that the extent of cheating was even greater than reported by a UN-backed watchdog.

The United Nations dismissed Peter Galbraith last month as the deputy UN special envoy to Afghanistan after he charged that as many as 30 percent of votes cast August 20 for incumbent President Hamid Karzai were fraudulent.
But after initial UN denials, a UN-backed watchdog on Monday threw out votes from 210 polling stations, raising pressure on the country's Independent Election Commission (IEC) to call a run-off.
Translation: You're right, but how dare you! The impudence! You have 10 minutes to clean out your desk before the blue helmets escort you from the building. Next time maybe you'll keep your mouth shut and stick to the script."

Hamid Karzai refuses to accept being stripped of Afghanistan election win  Ω 
A two-month investigation into allegations of widespread ballot-stuffing by supporters took his share of the vote from 55 per cent to 48 per cent, officials said.

Mr Karzai was said to be furious with the findings, --I'm shocked! while the Karzai-appointed election committee which must certify the final results also signaled it would not accept them either. --Even more shocked!

Senator John (Loser) Kerry, a close ally of Barack Obama, made an unscheduled visit to the Afghan capital yesterday to persuade Mr Karzai to accept the results of the inquiry. --Wait, they didn't send Al Gore?!

Of Course

Someone beat me to it..
And did it in a ravishing British accent.

Acorn Goes to Afghanistan

Metaphorically speaking.
As far as I know...

KABUL (AP) - Fraud investigators threw out hundreds of thousands of votes for President Hamid Karzai in the country's disputed August election, according to a report released Monday. The findings set the stage for a runoff between him and his top challenger.

It was unclear, however, whether the Independent Election Commission would accept the findings of the U.N.-backed fraud panel --isn't that a contradiction in terms? and announce a runoff. Karzai's spokesman said it was too soon to make a judgment based on the figures released by the panel. --Of course it is, that would be silly!

For those of you who don't follow Afghan politics, here's a bit of info on Dr. Abdullah.  Ω 

Already well known among most Afghans, Dr. Abdullah*, 48, an ophthalmologist, has a background that includes years of resistance to Soviet and Taliban rule as well as a crucial role in the formation of the new democratic government after the American intervention. *Campaign website

He strikes all the right notes about a de-centralized federal government and stronger representation of the people, but his unfortunate use of "Hope and Change" sure does send a shiver down my spine.

From his campaign website: "I'm asking you to believe not only in my ability to bring about necessary change and hope in our beloved country, Afghanistan, but I'm also asking you to believe in your own potential to change the course of our history." Yes We Can! Yes We Can! Yes We C---Oops, sorry. I blacked out there for a second.

Lessee, vote for the karacul-wearing used car salesman wallowing in cronyism and vote fraud...or the Afghan Obama sound-alike. *drums fingers*..... Good luck with that, guys! And gals..

Normally, I'd have more sympathy, but we have problems of our own to deal with.

If This Doesn't Make Your Skin Crawl

It's on too tight.
By the way, WTH is up with her tongue?! She looks like a cat choking on a hairball!
On a separate note, thank God for our honorable men and women in uniform.  Ω

READY TO REVOLT: Oath Keepers pledges to prevent dictatorship in United States  
Group asks police and military to lay down arms in response to orders deemed unlawful

AKA, "The only thing standing between us and Obama's Civilian Defense Force". 

Government Planning and Efficiency

or "Fox in the Henhouse"  
FDIC bank fund in the red until 2012  Ω 

Even as regulators try to replenish deposit insurance fund, it will be over two years before it boasts a positive balance, warns agency chief.

Translation--We're out of money, and we have no clue when we'll have more.

Why Social Security Will Go Bankrupt Sooner Than People Think Ω 
By Paul B. Matthews 
On May 12, 2009, the trustees for the Social Security system released their annual report, "The 2009 Annual Report of the Board of Trustees of the Federal Old-Age and Survivors Insurance and Federal Disability Insurance Trust Funds."

Following release of this report, many media outlets were quick to report (or should I say regurgitate) the findings sited in the trustee's executive summary -- notably that Social Security payroll tax collections would begin to exceed benefits paid in 2016, a year shorter than had been forecasted in 2008. 

Let Them Go Bankrupt, Soon Ω 

The current House and Senate bills will also break the president's second promise—not to add to the deficit. In part because the health insurance that the administration's plan forces people to buy is expensive, the plan proposes to give individuals large financial subsidies to partially offset the cost.

That the programs will ultimately go bankrupt is clear from the trustees' reports. On pages 201 and 202 of the Medicare report, you will find the conclusive arithmetic: over the next 75 years, Social Security and Medicare will cost an estimated $103.2 trillion, while dedicated taxes and premiums will total only $57.4 trillion. The gap is $45.8 trillion. (All figures are expressed in "present value," a fancy term for "today's dollars.")

Doubling Down on a Flawed Insurance Model Ω

The entitlement-based subsidy, combined with the proposed Medicaid expansion, would add between $700 billon and $1.2 trillion to federal spending over the next decade, according to the Congressional Budget Office. The new entitlements would come on top of existing federal health-care entitlements that the government has been neither able to control nor finance.
The U.S. Postal Service: Our Next Bankruptcy? Ω
The General Accounting Office (GAO) has announced that the U.S. Postal Service is in danger of financial insolvency.

2009 Federal Deficit Surges to $1.42 Trillion  Ω

WASHINGTON (AP) - What is $1.42 trillion? It's more than the total national debt for the first 200 years of the Republic, more than the entire economy of India, almost as much as Canada's, and more than $4,700 for every man, woman and child in the United States.

The administration estimates that government debt will reach 76.5 percent of gross domestic product - the value of all goods and services produced in the United States - in 2019. It stood at 41 percent of GDP last year. The record was 113 percent of GDP in 1945.
Much of that debt is in foreign hands. China holds the most - more than $800 billion. (--See THIS and THIS.) In all, investors - domestic and foreign - hold close to $8 trillion in what is called publicly held debt. There is another $4.4 trillion in government debt that is not held by investors but owed by the government to itself in the Social Security and other trust funds.

"I'm from the government, and I'm here to help you with your finances."

You poor sap.

Sunday Funnies

(H/T BEGRUNT of NB)